MOVIE REVIEWS!!!
See archives for past reviews.

All these crappy reviews by Jake Thomas unless otherwise noted.

Review Archives:
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New Reviews (just scroll down to read)

Bad Boys (7.5/10)
The Bank Job (7/10)
Be Kind Rewind (8.5/10)
Chained Heat (5/10)
Deja Vu (5.5/10)
Ever Since The World Ended (3/10)
Going Berserk (5.5/10)
The Hammer (8/10)
Session 9 (8/10)
The Street Fighter (7/10)
Super High Me (7/10)
This Filthy Life (8/10)
Venus (6.5/10)


Bad Boys (1983)
- 7.5 out of 10 -

This is by far the best film named “Bad Boys” that doesn't star Will Smith. A bold statement, sure,
but one I dare you to prove wrong. This has all the makings of a classic – reform school brawls,
giant boom boxes, Ally Sheedy getting raped, Clancy Beown and Esai Morales playing real shit-
heads...all your basic building blocks of quality filmmaking.

In all seriousness, this film really let's Sean Penn show off those acting chops at a young age that
we take for granted anymore; that coupled with a look at life on the mean streets of Chicago in the
mid-eighties, and subsequent incarceration, really makes this a top-notch representative of that
era.


The Bank Job (2008)
- 7 out of 10 -

A much-better-than-expected heist film, set in the early seventies and apparently based on true
events (though obviously liberties were taken with the story). As you might expect, there are twists
and turns and double-crosses like all these caper-type films have, and this flick mixes in some
government black-ops conspiracy goofiness as well. The action is good, the story is plenty inter-
esting, and the directing...let's just say the man behind the lens, Roger Donaldson, was also the
man in charge for the bartending classic “Cocktail”, so you know things were in good hands here.
And an extra added bonus thumbs up to Saffron Burrows, someone I've never really paid much
attention to but good lord is she ever foxy in this flick.


Be Kind Rewind (2008)
- 8.5 out of 10 -

I know Michel Gondry got most of his praise and pull in Hollywood because of “Eternal Sunshine
of a Spotless Mind”, but near a I can tell that movie can't hold a candle to the brilliance and
creativity of his last two films, “The Science of Sleep” and this masterpiece “Be Kind Rewind”.
Mos Def and Jack Black blended beautifully with Gondry's unique set designs and ideas. The
story was great too, but for me honestly that was secondary to the visual feast this film offered.
I would almost call it inspirational, because surely some young aspiring filmmakers will take some
of the ideas used here and employ them into their own creative experience.


Chained Heat (1983)
- 5 out of 10 -

The ultimate “chicks behind bars” film, this has everything you could ask for – lots of tits, lots of ass,
lots of bad acting, and a complete ludicrous story. Really, what more could you ask for? I feel quite
certain that both the entire cast and crew were high as kites on mountains of coke for the duration
of this picture.


Deja Vu (2006)
- 5.5 out of 10 -

It strikes me that this film was supposed to be just a run-of-the-mill CSI/detective flick, but then they
decided “we need a gimmick!” and threw in this strange time-traveling/surveillance mumbo-jumbo to
make it stand out from the pack. And I guess technically it did, as I've never seen a film about time-
jumping detectives, but different don't necessarily mean good. In this case, different means “meh”.


Ever Since The World Ended (2001)
- 3 out of 10 -

Low-budget faux-documentary set in San Francisco about a group of survivors after an apocalyptic
plague. Great premise, but the result is really, really, really boring.


Going Berserk (1983)
- 5.5 out of 10 -

This movie makes no goddamn sense. Something about an aerobics-based cult trying to hypnotize
John Candy into killing his future father-in-law, who is apparently some uptight senator. A lot of
“occasionally funny but mostly confusing” hijinks ensue, Eugene Levy lurks around in a funny mous-
tache, and Dixie Carter makes an appearance as the lead cultist (and sings one of the soundtrack
songs to boot). It's a thoroughly odd film from start to finish, and no doubt the result of a lot of illegal
drugs.


The Hammer (2008)
- 8 out of 10 -

As a big fan of Adam Carolla, it was pretty much a no-brainer I would like this film. He has a unique
sense of humor, and certainly there are folks that won't vibe with his style; in that event, you probably
won't like this film, because it is a whole lot of Adam talking and talking and talking, as he is known
to do. All of this talking is wrapped up in the package of a “rom-com” for dudes, about a washed-up
boxer trying to make a go if it again, and falling in love in the process. The characters are likable,
especially Ozzie (also a frequent guest on Adam's radio show) and a brief cameo by Jane Lynch.
Unless you already have built-in dislike of Carolla, this is a film well worth checking out.


Session 9 (2001)
- 8 out of 10 -

I told myself I'd never watch a film starring David Caruso again, and then I went and watched this...
and I'll be damned if it wasn't pretty good! Caruso wasn't even terrible, surprisingly enough. The
story is nothing amazing – about a man going crazy while working on an old building. No, what
really keeps you enthralled here is the building itself – Danvers State Hospital in Massachusetts,
an actual closed down, decaying mental hospital built well over a hundred years ago. If there has
been a more perfect, fascinating location for a horror film I'm yet to see it. It had me physically
itching to hit the road and go explore the place myself (sadly, since the filming of this movie some
rich developers turned the place into condos and tore down the majority of the property outside of
the main building).


The Street Fighter (1974)
- 7 out of 10 -

I've always had a love of Sonny Chiba's style of karate, and it really gets shown off in this classic.
There is a story about a billionaire's daughter being protected and kidnap attempts and a bunch of
other hogwash, but we all know why you watch a film like this – to see some serious ass-kicking,
and this flick has it in spades. Really, what more could you ask for in a kung-fu film?


Super High Me (2007)
- 7 out of 10 -

The premise is simple – based on the documentary “Super Size Me”, comedian Doug Benson de-
cided on a variation of this idea, only with pot. He started by not smoking pot for 30 days, and then
followed that up by smoking pot from the moment he awoke until he went to bed for 30 days. As you
might imagine, many hijinks ensue, lots of pot jokes are made, and much merriment is had. Now, I
find Doug Benson hilarious, so it was a no-brainer I'd love this; perhaps if you feel differently about
the man, look elsewhere for entertainment. Also, have your head examined cause you don't know
funny.


This Filthy World (2005)
- 8 out of 10 -

A film of the legendary John Waters doing a comical monologue in front of an audience. Really, that's
about all you can say...if you like John Waters, like I do, you'll probably really dig this; if you don't like
the man, I can't imagine you'd ever watch this in the first place. He talks about his history in films, in
pretty much chronological order, and a lot of the battles he's gotten into trying to get his art on the big
screen.

As an interesting tidbit, the flick was directed by Jeff Garlin, best known from “Curb Your Enthusiasm”
as Larry's agent and good friend. I never knew he directed films or even knew John Waters, but there
you go.


Venus (2006)
- 6.5 out of 10 -

I got out of this film exactly what I expected - a magnificent Peter O'Toole performance surrounded by
a rather inconsequential film. Everything else here, the actors, the story, whatever, is just window
dressing for O'Toole to show he still has the chops even in his advanced age. Obviously, I'm not the
only person who feels this way, as his Oscar nomination for the role shows. He is a man of prodigious
talent, one of the all-time greats certainly, and this film will hopefully prove this to a new generation of
movie fans.