Visiting Home Part One - July 2007
Had some free time on my hands and decided to make a trip home to goof
off and see friends...
As is often the case, one of the first to greet me is my fine dog Max,
muse of this website.
There was also a frog there. I didn't catch his name.
As is often the case, random animals show up and take residence at our
house pretty often...sometimes they stay a few
days, other times they stay forever (both Max and the cat Smithers were
once stragglers who wandered onto the property).
Anyways, this so-ugly-it's-cute dog showed up and became instant
friends with Max.
And the wrestling began...one on top of the other, for seemingly
hours. It was like the worst porno ever.
I made a drive up the mountain to my dad's house. It's impossible
ot take a straight photo going up that road
because the whole damn thing is nothing but a clump of curves.
The view towards my dad's house (this isn't his house, it's just behind
that clump of trees past that house). It's a really
beautiful area, especially if you can't see the piles of junk piled
around my dad's house.
My dad never seems to get his cat's fixed. The up side is that
means there are always really cute kittens to play with
when you visit...
downside obviously being more unneeded kitties on the street.
He's pretty good at finding them
homes though, so that's something.
Later in the day a group of us decided to drive in to Asheville and
catch a Tourist's minor league baseball game. It was
"bring your horse to the game" day so brought along Chauncey
Buttertooth, our pet clydesdale. Jake and Lauren made
the trip too.
In the horse world, this part of the beast is referred to as the
"chassis", and if you want the animal to run smoothly you
have to make sure and change the transmission fluid every 1000 miles or
4 horseshoes, whichever comes first.
Little known fact: Jake Rash has an enormous head. He has to get
any hats specially made to fit his pumpkin-sized skull.
Given that it was "bring your horse to the game" day, they had a couple
of horses sing the national anthem. It made sense
at the time but looking back those animals really screwed up the lyrics
a number of times.
These young strumpets showed up early, strolled over near the visitors
dugout, and within minutes all of the players
for the Savannah Sand Gnats were taking turns making googly eyes and
these teenage harlets. Mission accomplished!
The seats were fantastic...you could smell the ump's bad calls from
Even little fat kids in ghetto gowns were enjoying themselves.
Lauren, as usual, is skeptical of some manner of nonsense coming out of
The next day I drove back up the hill to Celo to see some friends and
goof off in the South Toe River. I grew up swimming
in this cold-ass river, and decided on this overcast day to participate
from the bank of the river. It didn't stop Zack though.
Look! It's reality TV star Gabe Cade! I grew up with this
guy, and can't express how surreal it was seeing him on
Survivor a few years back.
This was the main reason that this spot in the river was chosen...the
rope looked like it was half rotten, but it held all
of the hijinks and belly flops that were thrown at it.
Something I always took for granted that is actually a pretty unique
thing to the area - mica.
But Zack don't give two shits about no damned mica.
It rained on us most of the time at the river, yet another reason not
to get in that frigid beast.
See, it was totally raining. Stop calling me a liar.
(It's worth noting that bad weather always follows me when I go
home...there had been a drought in the area until I
showed up, and then it rained nearly every day I was there.)
Had a small cookout at the house later in the day - Greg and Nate (and
Nate's wife Melissa and baby Art who both
somehow managed to elude the camera) came over and shot the shit.
Nate got a new tattoo that is quite reminiscent of one of his band's album covers.
And here is a close-up, in case you were interested. I'm partial
to the blue goat tattoo that is just out of the shot myself.
My Aunt Laney also joined us, though her and my mom got banished to the
Ah yes, Nate was being his usual effervescent self.
I don't have a good reason for having a photo of my rat tail cactus in
here (which I named "Bob Marley" as a kid), but
what the hell, here it is anyways.
After louting around in the yard, Max decided make a fashionably late
And of course he brought his ugly little friend with him.
(that was not directed at my mom, by the way)
On my last day, before going off to the hairport, we made a stop at my
grandmas for lunch and visitin' with family. This
would be the newest member of the clan, my cousin Emily.
The grandma in question (known as Mamaw by me and Inez by most everyone
As is only fitting in our family, Mamaw then began goofing on her
great-grandaughter by hanging toys from her ears.
And then my mom gave the both of them what-for. See, it's not
just good cooking you get when you go by Mamaws.
And that was it - Max rode in my lap as we drove to the airport.
I love this photo.
(I did end up getting stranded in Charlotte overnight, ate dinner at
Cracker Barrel, and missed a job interview, but the
trip was worth it anyways.)